2

The Loved kid sat near me on one of the buses to _____. I asked him about the case.
_It’s a travel guitar. Do you play?_
_No. I play piano, but just for fun. How do they make a guitar that small?_
_Yeah, they put the top part at the bottom._
_Oh,_ I said, like I understood what he was talking about, when I didn’t have the foggiest.
Him and his friend were from Minnesota, and weren’t having the infantry-style deployment I was having.
They had auditioned and were part of their state’s army band, and were doing their deployment by traveling Iraq and performing at different FOBs. They were a rock and roll band, doing covers of the most popular songs.
Jon, the kid, was nineteen, and his friend, Tank, was twenty two. Tank played the Tuba, and was in a music school in Chicago in civilian life. In the Army he played the base.
_Oh, you slap-e-da base,_ I joked, referencing a movie.
_I love that movie!_ Jon said, referring to I Love You Man. _’Paul Rudd is so funny in that._
_Yeah, I’m a big fan of Rush because of that movie._
And it went from there.
I felt a little dark, talking to them. It wasn’t like we’d just sat on the bus and had a conversation. I was stunned by Jon‘s effortless normalcy, the same was I was with K___. So stunned I had casually picked him out of an airport terminal hours ago.
Jon was a little guy, with brown curly hair and dark eyes. He looked like something out of a 1990s Calvin Klein ad.
Tank was a big, doughy guy, with glasses and a short army hair cut. We talked about Garrison Keeler and Prairie Home Companion and the things I knew about Minnesota.
_I thought that show was just a Minnesota thing,_ Tank said
_No. It’s a huge hit on NPR. I’ve been listening to it every Saturday since I was little._
_Well the show’s dead on._ he said.
_How bout the movie Fargo?_
_Dead on, again,_ he said, laughing.
We arrived at our destination, unloaded, and sat down for another briefing, where they told us all the standards, rules, and regulations of our vacation.
The way _____ is set up, there is a small Army base there, for what reason I don’t know, which, due to its proximity to the Persian Gulf, and a good relationship with the USO, was able to open up R and R program (rest and relaxation) for deployed soldiers in the Middle East.
It offered spa treatments, water sports, trips to the beach, shopping, etc. Here, we would be in civilian clothes for the first time in ages, and we would be allowed three alcoholic beverages a night.
When it came time to sign for our bays, I noticed that Jon and Tank were at the opposite end of the line, and might end up in a different bay than me, so I went to the bathroom, got back into line, and was assigned the same 10-man bay as them.
I felt a little dark doing that, but they were the only two people I knew here and I felt like a normal person might’ve done the same.
I took the first shower I’d had in three days, and since I hadn’t slept in three days, was surprised to find myself punch drunk.
I passed Jon in the hall, who stopped me and asked what my plans were. _You know, just going to relax for awhile, then just do whatever,_ I said, like an idiot.
_Well, we were thinking about heading back to the USO and tomorrow going swimming or something,_ he said.
_Yeah, just wake me up whenever you get up and I’ll go along too, if that’s alright._
_Sure, that’s a plan. Well see you later_
I wanted to secure my friendship with Jon and Tank, I wanted to go ahead and confidently make plans for tomorrow, but I wanted to be normal, and I didn’t think that coming on that strong was particularly normal.
I was incredibly hungry and wandered the FOB in a daze unsuccessfully trying to find the chow hall or the Grab and Go -- turns out both were closed anyway.
I got a little lost but then recognized Jon and Tank walking ahead of me, so I just followed them. I felt like a stalker. I had been trying to avoid them so I could be normal, but the more I tried the more I kept running into them. They played pool at the USO while I checked my email and raided the pantry. We all went to bed around 3 am. I don’t think they saw me.
Next morning I woke up to the sound of a very homosexual voice. _Hey,_ it said. _Do you want to go on the mall run?_
It wasn’t directed at me, but at Jon, across from me on a bottom bunk. Jon said something amounting to no, and rolled over to go back to sleep. I was glad when he said no. I felt competitive with the gay guy, named Dan, who seemed to have a thing for Jon.
Jon was so normal and innocent I felt like there was something important there for me, like a last chance. I thought to myself: I think when you compete with a gay over a guy, it means you’re a gay. Whatever, I thought back, and waited for my morning hard-on to go relax so I could go to the latrine.
I got up and we decided to go to lunch and then exploring. I dressed and joined the others in the hall where Jon had picked up two more people for our group. One was a quiet guy who went on his own shortly after, the other was a guy named Joe.
He was a skinny blonde, twenty four years old, out of Texas, who came on strong, constantly talking and joking and easily breaking the ice.