4

13NOV2008
　
(driving back from ___)
The Abuser controlling the Abused's feelings is wrong. An abused child will naturally combat this by then taking control of his own feelings.
But controlling feelings is wrong altogether. The Abuser has given the Abused a false sense of what feelings are and how they work.
The Abused must realize this and through Awareness accurately experience and define the Truth of feelings.
__________
　
26NOV2008
　
(waking) Had a dream where I was in NY for awhile and seeing a psychiatrist. He was my age and had a wife and two boys. His family stayed in the _monuments_ which in the dream had elaborate labyrinths inside them.
I stay with them sometimes and am kind of winning with the psychiatrist in the sessions.
My intellect is trumping his. But then as I am getting ready in one of the bedrooms I think to myself: _You know you’re a man. You know this. [something vague I can’t remember] You only decided to be like this to get you through. But you are through. It’s just so new. _
And in the dream I wasn’t _affected_ anymore. It seemed important at the time ..
Somewhere in the dream it also said to go back to the poetry, especially the first poem I wrote. (The poetry I wrote shortly after June 1^st).
I feel a little sad the trip is up, the deployment is a few weeks away. K__ didn’t come. Wonder if I’ll have to handle a whole deployment alone, too. I’ll be Tough, swear I will.