It’s instant, the switching back and forth, are these my real thoughts? No. And then the switch.
Then a conversation, some work, etc, and I catch myself again. Are these my Real thoughts? No. And then the switch.
Back to my true eyes, back to my true voice.
I like how the Military balances itself. As I walk through the FOB I encounter situation after situation, incident after incident, where I am working with strangers.
Sometimes there’s rudeness, then sometimes there’s kindness. If I’m having a hard day, a lot of the times I’ll pass a soldier or be waiting in line with a soldier and he tells a joke or something and it will bring me back.
I didn’t know that I had a safe place, and it was in that place that I existed. There were stolen moments, that one night at the rink when I was thirteen, that one night as a teenager at the movies with friends, stolen moments of living.
The Gym was my safe place for almost two years (?) I didn’t know it. I just thought it a huge mystery why those moments in the abandoned Gym with me playing basketball by myself would be the moments flashed before my eyes if I ever have a near-death experience.
__________
(Em____ talking about his stepson’s douche of a father, while the two of us are on guard duty).
Me: Don’t you hate it when your father is a douche?
Em__: _Yeah, I’ve had a douche life. My step father raped me from when I was seven to eight, then molested my sister. Actually she was molested first by my father, then again by him. Then I told my Mom and she chose him .. _
Me: You’re the first person I’ve ever met who has my background.
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