6

05FEB2009

It is a mistake to think that something that is pleasurable to the body is sexuality.
Sexuality is Soul, not Material.
It is the choice, of who to touch and be touched by, that has just as much to do with it.
Hence, a little boy who knows it feels good to be touched is not a whore, is not choosing to be touched, to have sex.
The two are not connected, because the boy is not mature enough to have Real sexuality.
__________
　
10FEB2009
　
(air insertion training with the BlackHawk)
(K____ wrapping my foot after I had sprained it)
It was the Living Room in the House. When I’m around K__ it feels like I’m in the living room in the House. The Sun room, the walls and furniture golden. The only room I could hide in while I lived in the House.
I kept searching for why, right now, with K__ unwrapping my ankle and wrapping it again, I kept feeling the living room so strongly. The open window and breeze and the sounds of it -- but really it was that his sheets were the same color as the furniture in the living room.
As he wrapped my foot it was like he was in the living room with me. I felt sad when I saw that my eyes were back, and that they were beginning to remain. That world (the House) was the Real world. It was like I was soaked through with sadness.