I had this hope that drove me, motivated me, to try and try and work and work, and study and study.
Always living my life for tomorrow. Waking in the mornings with one mantra on my mind: Got to keep trying to get your life together ..
Now I look around and see I ve already done it all, immersed myself in every idea possible that if tried could improve my future.
There s no subject left to study, no experience or challenge left to take on that will somehow make my future okay.
Through experience and experience only I have come to the conclusion that that is not a way to live.
Just Toughness.
That’s all I am now.
Maybe it’s all I ever was, all I’ll ever be.
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