10

08SEP2008

(waking from dreams involving girls) It’s like you’re whole personality in awake-life isn’t yours.
__________
　
09SEP2008

Why did I think Sex was so bad? Why did I hate myself so much?
It was after the Sundays. And before kindergarten. Before the summer before kindergarten. I was four then.
Because I was always watching girls, dreaming about girls, having crushes on girls.
Just remember. What could be so bad? If he touched me, if he touched me, if he f-cking touched me..
I enjoyed the Sundays when he got each of us alone. The only one I remember is the one where he took me to a movie, and bought me a burger.
The town nearest me, maybe ten minutes down the road, is a lot like the place I come from, a lot like the area the House was.
So if it was after that Sunday and before the summer before Kindergarten, it wasn’t an ongoing thing. It wasn’t an ongoing thing.
Maybe.
__________
　
10SEP2008

Of course if there’s such Beauty, there’s such Ugly. If there is such Mafia
(a Sicilian word meaning A beautiful form of Violence and is synonymous with the word Independence in the Sicilian language),
than there is such Horror.
__________
　
12SEP2008
　
Woke from a dream where there was this huge King-Kong like woman in a city, and she kept beaming down this laser, that set people on fire.
Men, women, and children, being set on fire, all around me, as I’m running .. Later on today, I was reading my book Tantra by Georg Feuerstein, and there was an old Hindu parable similar to the dream.