Turns out, it’s just a job.. and that’s just Jeet Kune Do.. and that’s just Ms. M___, and that’s just the House, and that’s just.. It’s just sex.
Sexuality is about more than just sex, it’s what binds the list together. Something soulful that the Abuse took from me. Something I can see all around me but not in myself.
I take on this role socially, really a stereotype. American society only allows certain reasons for your not being sexually active right now – either you’re a ‘closeted gay,’ or a ‘n-gger,’ or weak, but in a cute, young way.
I’m none of those things but I take on the last of three in a last ditch effort not to come across as different and get ‘lynched.’ Otherwise they’ll assume I am somehow unnatural when really their ignorance makes them so.
Beckford, Jonas, Cedric, Misrad.. the photographers and directors love using these men to express the Masculinity.
The expressions seem to keep adding up to what I call to myself Dumb Masculinity. Masculinity that is wordless.
The idea of it helps me to quiet my mind. I see it in pictures of myself, but not in my face in the mirror. Sometimes I see it in my body, which has become mysteriously muscular.
I will take these photographs of my shadow. I can see it there.
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