14

01OCT2008
　
(Stepping out of the house, in the morning on the way to work. I didn't have enough words to write it then)
The line is between Nature and Society, manifestations of Reality and Story.
Reality stays constant, its rules and values as constant and true as the properties of chemicals, the laws of physics, etc.
Society changes, can even be insane, and allows and disallows in a very powerful, intimidating fashion.
A fashion that can deprive a human being of humanity in general.
When I step out in the morning, I regulate myself according to what society will allow me.
I keep as natural a posture as I feel allowed. I keep as natural a voice as I feel allowed. This is not all the House's fought.
If I was to live naturally/Real, my posture would always be tall and strong, my voice clear and strong, my movements Royal, powerful.
But Society/Story hasn't gotten to that point yet, it's still in a kind of puberty, reckoning with a Reality that is already there, and always has been, slowly moving forward to maturity/Humanity.
The braver I am, the more strong my posture, the clearer my voice, the more I only allow myself powerful movements. I have strong recollections of the inhumane, authoritative power of Society/Story and its reaction to things it doesn't yet understand.
The more successful I am materially, the more courageous I am when it comes to my posture, voice, and movements.
That's the border where I'm standing, the one where Reality and Story meet. I don't know how I feel about it. I just know where I am.