(hanging out with K____ at the local Walmart and Captain D’s)
I keep having flashbacks of my Hometown, and the video store, and the Pizza place, and how I just waited the days out, just got through them, a lot like how I do here.
I asked him if he ever missed being a kid and he didn’t seem to see the difference between his days then and his days now.
__________
05MAR2009
(morning at Orange Beach while K____ slept) It’s like I’m refusing to be happy .. out of stubbornness .. because I don’t think I deserve it .. because I’m not self-honoring ..
(at Pensacola with K____)
Honestly, I don’t know how to live without problems .. I used to have a hard time believing such a life could exist and be Real .. I have no idea what to do with my energies now .. I know that when I’m truly myself I use half the energy I would use normally.
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