3

13JUN2008

I am _____.
I learned that you always leave the blank blank.
Maybe.
No matter how overwhelming the story you've lived. If you fill in the blank it's like you're cashing in what's real about you for the not-real. Then you're numb.
You always leave it at that: I am. I am I am. And leave it at that.

When someone is abusive, like a guardian to a child, what they're doing is they're filling in the child's blank.
That's what Abuse is, an affront to a person's essence. They are taking that child's true essence away from them and insisting something not-real in it's place.
In the worst cases, the worst, most negative words, whole not-real identities are insisted into that blank.
In the worst case of the worst cases, the child believes it, and loses his or her blank, his or her essence, his or her alive-ness. That is until they remember the truth again.

Maybe the Truth will insist itself in nightmares, in flashbacks, in seemingly unwanted memories.
When a child has come from this, and has a lot in his or her blank, that child feels stuck; no freedom.