8

11MAY2009

An American soldier entered the Troop Medical Center and opened fire, killing 5 soldiers.
A mortar attack occurred in a neighborhood just outside our wire.
There is always the sound of sporadic gunfire.
(Movement from Kuwait to Iraq)
The day started with me waking up to K____ still awake on Aderoll.

__________

　
K__ about Mos__ when he complains we don’t hang out with him much anymore:
_All I could think was, I’d never say that to a guy._ He laughs.
K____ is like a crash course in appropriate male bonding.

___________

(Reading more of The Power of Now)
I felt I was so far behind it would take criminality (like in Invisible Man, White Tiger) for me to catch up and attain the human dignity I deserved. So I developed a criminal mind/unconscious mind. Meanwhile I can stay conscious during criminality now.
It’s all about the How, putting my energy into the How. I think about the coolness of _Jackie Brown._ Even poor ghetto trash like me can be cool.
__________
　
Played ping pong with K____. I kept the upper hand. Winning and losing get to him. He’s either arrogant/condescending when he’s winning, or frustrated/baby when he’s losing. I make it worse by getting annoyed at him now that I am not that way.
I really have to concentrate in order to play well, just the ball, table, paddle, ball, table, paddle; nothing else, including winning or losing.