Him versus K__, 1

16SEP2009

(waking) .. the infinite possibilites -- the Mystery -- that is the individual..

(reading over old posts on brokenspirits) The postings and replies by JC and Jesse make me sad because they are themeselves so effortlessly .. They are brothers and experienced Abuse -- along with a male cousin (?) -- all together. They weren't the sole boy like me.

I have had dreams where I am growing up in the House with a brother -- always the same brother. I have vivid dreams of my brother showing me around the after life trying to explain to me how he's 'just right here, we're just right here.'

In real life mom miscarried a baby before I was born. I went to a psychic deep in Arkansas once, asking about the dreams. She said that miscarried babies are genderless, and don't go on living in the after life. She said all my guardian angels were male. She said there was a battle going on inside of me, very stark and obvious, like two different beings. She asked me about it Good and Evil? Love and Hate? No, I thought, Ghost and Him.